Stop being offended

Many people get offended for very small, small reasons. They get offended during discussions, after reading a book, an article, or listening to someone's speech. You criticize or question their religion, they get offended; you criticize their political party or leader, they feel offended; you question their beliefs, they feel offended; the list can go on, the point I am trying to make is that people get offended because of many reasons. Such people develop a tendency to get offended, their tolerance level decreases, and their feelings get hurt very easily. Hurt feelings are one of the main reasons to feel offended. Whenever these people see that the next person doesn't agree with their logic and raises questions it, they don't like this. Many of them feel offended just because of disagreement with others with their views. Many try to convince others in various ways like discussion, debate, and argument but if nothing works and if the other person is still critical and disagrees with them, they feel offended. Some have a tendency to feel offended even by a small objection to some of their core beliefs, somehow they feel that everyone should believe in what they believe. Once people feel offended their behavior changes, and their tone, and language become different. This is not a very ideal situation for any discussion, that's why I try to avoid as much as possible any discussion with people who have a tendency to get offended. Once they feel offended they lose their sense of logic and then it's all about emotions without any sound logic or rationale. Even if someone feels offended, they should engage in discussion rather than trying to shut off another person. I can understand we can't control when and how we get offended, but we can definitely control what we do once we get offended. 

Some people mistakenly think that the feeling of being offended is directly linked with their self-respect, that is, they have self-respect that's why they feel offended. This is so wrong, there is absolutely no link between self-respect and feeling offended. This feeling of offense is actually a sign of frustration. Frustration because of inability to convince others. Frustration because of people questioning their views or rejecting them. This frustration then leads to the feeling of offense. No one can attack or diminish your self-respect in any discussion as long as you don't allow them to do so. Discussions and debates are not places to do any personal attacks on anyone. I personally don't feel offended by any remarks against my posts or views. Sometimes people call me names even use nasty words and get very personal in criticism during discussions or arguments but I don't mind all this because it displays their state of mind, not mine. During any discussion, my aim is always to share my views and get to know others. If there is any difference of opinion then it can be resolved via discussion in a polite and civilized way or we can always agree to disagree with each other. If everyone follows this policy then imagine how nice every debate or discussion will become. People won't be shouting top of their voices just to convey their message, they won't make any personal attacks while discussing ideologies and policies, and no one will get offended. Discussions or debates will sound like some civilized exchange of thoughts, not some street fight or bar brawl.

I hope people try to make efforts to increase their tolerance level and stop being offended. Imagine a world where people don't feel offended, it will have less anger, less violence, less hatred, and less grudge. Sounds amazing. Right? Let's try to bring that into reality. 

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]