Pu La and Sunita Deshpande - two people who transformed me

Purushottam Lakshman Deshpande (fondly known as PuLa, पु ल in Maharashtra) and Sunita Deshpande, were a couple who had a huge influence on my thinking and some other aspects of my life. I don't have to introduce these two personalities to people who come from the state of Maharashtra in India, these two, or at least PuLa are household names in Maharashtra, especially in the city of Pune where I was born and raised.

My parents never used to speak Marathi in our home during my childhood. They immigrated to Pune from a small village in UP (Uttar Pradesh). I was born in Pune and spent my entire life there before moving to the US. I studied in a Marathi medium and lived in a Marathi-speaking neighborhood and this is why Marathi became my mother tongue. I used to think and talk mostly in Marathi for the first 30 years of my life. My school and our neighbors introduced me to the rich cultural side of Maharashtra and that's how I came to know these two amazing personalities. PuLa's books and his "katha kathan" (storytelling, in his case, he used to read some chapters from his books) are very popular among Marathi-speaking people. They are full of humor and at the same time comment about various aspects of life in a very subtle way. The characters that he portrayed in his stories, books, and plays are very relatable and leave a strong impact on readers. He was also a great actor, narrator, and musician. I think very few people have such a diverse talent. I still enjoy his books, listen to his audio and video clips, and enjoy them as much as I enjoyed them before. I think they are timeless and have the capacity to entertain and educate generations of Marathi-speaking people. He didn't believe in a conventional definition of religion or god but his personal beliefs were never ever reflected directly in any of his writings. Anyone can easily relate to characters from his books, they are so human and real that people feel he is talking about them and their lives when they listen to him or read his books. I guess this is the main reason for his huge popularity.

I read Sunita Deshpande's book "Aahe Manohar Tari" (आहे मनोहर तरी..) much later, after reading many books by PuLa. Initially, I read it because it was written by PuLa's wife, but when I read it I was totally surprised. It left me stunned. I was completely blown away. I must have read it multiple times. I don't think anyone expected such a book from PuLa's wife. It was totally different, something that I never read before. PuLa is known for humor, he had a knack for finding the humorous side of any situation in life, but this book was very serious, up to the point, and brutally honest. The book is about her memoirs. She is very clear and straightforward about her opinions not only about herself but also about other people in her life. She didn't try to hide that she is an atheist and is really proud of that, which many people hesitate to do just not to hurt people or in fear of losing fans. She also made very honest comments about her own personality and her behavior under different circumstances. She also discussed her own strengths and weaknesses honestly. I never read such an honest self-assessment before in my life, maybe Gandhi's My Experiments with Truth comes close. She also wrote some critical comments about her famous and adored husband. As expected, this book created some controversy and also received criticism from readers including many of PuLa's fans. They all thought she was wrong in criticizing him for being lazy or for being a typical husband who expects his wife to take care of him and his home. After all, he was such a popular and beloved author of Maharashtra, and as a gifted artist, a husband, and a talented person he deserved some special treatment. PuLa came forward as her biggest supporter against all this criticism when this book came out and defended her right to express her views. Not that she needed his support but it was nice to see such mutual understanding and respect between the couple. I was amazed to read about such a brave and bold woman who was much ahead of her time in thinking. Her approach towards life was also very unique and impressed me a lot. She managed to live her own life and pursue her own interests and hobbies without getting affected by the success and popularity of her celebrity husband. She narrated almost every major incident of her life with so much honesty without worrying about the reactions of her husband, his fans, or other readers. She discussed honestly variety of sensitive and controversial issues in the book. Whether it was about her thoughts about euthanasia when her mother was suffering in hospital, her first and only pregnancy and abortion, her thoughts about God, about some qualities of her husband which she didn't like, she discussed them all. The book also contains many other interesting incidents in her life, it will be very difficult for me to summarize the entire book in this post. I would like my readers to read the book if possible. When I finished the book I was not the same person I was before reading that book, such was the impact of that book on me. I don't claim that it will have the same impact on everyone who reads it, maybe there will be some who may not like that book, but it transformed me, and helped me in many ways. I hope everyone finds at least one such book in their life.

Actually, these two people helped me in many ways indirectly. These were the only people who were not related to me or my field of study and I didn't meet personally but I still acknowledged them in my PhD thesis. Such was their influence on me. They still remain a source of inspiration for me but I don't worship them or don't follow them blindly. I understand that there might be many people who don't care about them or may even dislike or hate them for whatever reason they have and I totally understand it. I have my own opinions about them and others can have their own and everyone's opinion doesn't need to match with mine. I am thankful to both of them for transforming me because in the kind of situation or neighborhood, I was living it was highly impossible for me to meet with people like them but I was lucky to know them through their books, that's also one of the reasons why I believe that books are such a powerful medium which have the power of transforming people. I get a lot of inspiration and strength from many books and articles that I read. They teach me and transform me in many ways. Thank you, sir, and thanks mam, love you both.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing] 

(Image: from Google images)

Links:
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunita_Deshpande
2. http://www.indiainternational.com/pulabahurupi80/index1.html
3. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pu_La_Deshpande