Essentialism and intersectionality

I recently came across these two terms, "essentialism" and "intersectionality," while listening to the podcast by Cece Xie. The reason I felt excited about these two phrases is that I learned some new things from them. I did not know we get completely different perspectives on the same issue when we look through the prism of essentialism versus intersectionality. The difference is not subtle, and this just blew my mind away. I always feel excited when some of my notions are challenged with something better, something that teaches me about a different aspect of that issue that I never thought about. This is one such instance. 

We have the tendency to categorize issues and problems based on gender, race, caste, nationality, age, or any other differentiating factors and try to find solutions for them. Sometimes this approach works, but not always. Most of the time, the issues are more complex than just related to race, gender, age, caste, or nationality. Essentialism is when we consider each of these differentials separately and assume that the problem associated with race is the same across that race irrespective of gender, age, or nationality. When the approach involving essentialism does not give us the complete picture, but rather misguides us, we must think about intersectionality. Intersectionality offers us a better perspective on most issues. Many of the social issues are complex, they involve a mix of race, gender, nationality, age, and a few other factors. For example, race-related problems are different for black men compared to black women; the issue of maternity and paternity leave may result in different challenges for colored parents compared to white parents, especially mothers. Just because a company hires women does not mean women from minorities are also hired. Just because a company hires minorities does not mean they also hire women from minorities, maybe only men from minorities get hired. One can cite many examples where intersectionality gives us a better perspective on the issues compared to essentialism. 

I recommend everyone to read about intersectionality and educate themselves to get a better perspective of the challenges faced by our society. This will not only make us more sensitive towards these issues but also make us well-equipped to come up with effective solutions compared to what we have. 

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com

Privilege of getting old

Getting old is a privilege. Many of us complain about our aging process and lament that our days of youth are over without realizing that not everyone gets an opportunity to get old. Nothing in this universe is permanent, definitely, not humans, we all have an expiry date. Our life is divided into stages, starting from being born to our death, getting old is an important milestone in this process. We don't have to do anything special to get old, the same way as we don't have to do anything special to be born or to become a toddler or to become a teenager. These things happen as time passes after our birth. Among all this, getting old is a special phase, it shows we survived long enough to see our old age and hopefully, in that process gathered some valuable experience that we can share with our younger generation. That is why I say that getting old is a privilege.

Like any other phase of life, being old comes with its own pros and cons. If we are not careful, our health can be an issue in old age, we may find it hard to remain physically active if we remain careless about our health. We need to adjust our lifestyle as per certain conditions and health issues we pick up while getting older. But these are minor discomforts compared to the value we can add to our society while getting older. At older age our life experiences and wisdom are based on our own personal experiences rather than some hearsay, we are supposed to be more mature and wise. Also, we are supposed to understand the value of love and happiness more and behave accordingly. Unfortunately, not everyone behaves accordingly, there are many old people who behave like jerks, and they don't seem to have learned anything as they grow older. But if we learn from our experiences, and try to make this world a better place, this world will be a lot nicer place than what it already is.

Even though getting old is a privilege, people resist showing that they are getting old. Removing skin wrinkles, or hiding them, hair transplants, hair coloring to hide the grayness of hair due to aging, plastic surgeries to look younger, and use of other methods to hide age are no longer limited to film stars, most common people also use these techniques. I am not against the use of these things or using anything to enhance one's looks. However, people seem to equate looking old with looking ugly, I don't know why, but this seems to be the case. I don't see any other reason to hide our age other than the stigma associated with looking old. Cosmetics were supposed to help us to look better, enhance our looks of that age, and not to hide our real faces. Previously film stars used to hide their age to protect their screen image. Many film stars wanted their fans only to remember their young versions, somehow they thought their older versions would not get the love and adulation their younger version received. This is not true, there are many examples where film stars are as popular in their old age with their old looks as they were in their young age. Still, people are scared to show their age. This may sound like I am against cosmetics or people using makeup. However, this is not the case, I agree that people need to feel comfortable with their appearance, but stereotyping old age as an ugly look is not the way to make anyone comfortable with their appearance it is the opposite of it. If you are privileged, don't hide that privilege, let people know about it and benefit from it. There is no shame in displaying your age, remember, not everyone gets an opportunity to get old, if you get that opportunity, let people know about it. Age is just a number, not something to be ashamed of.

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com    

Difference between connection and communication

Social media has changed the way we communicate. One can argue that it has increased our connectivity with the world which was out of our reach just a few years ago. Today, we can connect with anyone active on social media and initiate communication. But the question is are we really connecting with each other or just communicating. One of the reasons is that we are confusing communication with the connection. During my childhood, having more than 10 or 20 friends was almost impossible, we did not know that many people of our age. I and my friends used to meet almost every day and chat for hours, we used to spend so much time with our friends that our parents had to drag us back home. We used to get lectures from our parents regularly about time spent with our friends. Today our friend lists run into hundreds or thousands, but still, we feel lonely or disconnected. Why?

We now have platforms available for us where we can communicate and can communicate continuously if we want. However, communication does not always mean connection. Most of the communication on social media platforms has become a type of broadcast where one party says and another party listens, there is rarely a constructive dialogue. Some platforms have become a place to argue and score points over your opponents. There is a lot of communication, but hardly any connection. This is why even though people are busy communicating, they feel empty. Even though everyone is busy broadcasting how they are having a wonderful time, they have no avenue to discuss their stress and depression.  Even though people are texting each other continuously they hesitate to share their mental health issues. Even though we have these amazing communication platforms at our disposal, we rarely use them to establish a genuine connection, a connection that can stand by us in our time of need, listen to our worries, and comfort us. People have found tremendous ways to share their talents and become influencers, but we still lack ways to understand each other's feelings and share them honestly without being judged. This is why I have decided to focus on connections rather than just communication. I still write my blog and post on social media, but I make a point to connect with people that matter to me. I try to call or message them regularly and am available to talk to them when they need someone to share something. I listen attentively when people have something to say about my blog or about my other opinions and views. This has helped me a lot, and I hope these interactions also helped others who connected and communicated with me. I believe if you want help, start helping someone when they need help and someone will help you when you are in need. This is how we can build an ecosystem where compassion and empathy are organic and not just for display on social media. It is easy to show anger, pity, or sympathy, but it is not easy to show compassion and empathy. Communication will happen automatically when a connection happens, but it is not true the other way around. Let's be brave and try to connect with each other rather than just communicate.     

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com

Generation Superiority Syndrome

The phenomenon where the current generation (parents) think that they are superior compared to the next generation (their kids) is very common. Especially, in terms of their work ethics, hard work, morality, respectfulness, and the difficulties they faced in their life parents feel that they are better compared to their kids, without having any data to support this claim. It is so common that almost every kid has to listen to parents or other elders complaining about how their life was much more difficult, how they worked their asses off to reach where they are, how they started with nothing, how they used to respect their elders much more compared to these kids, and also listen these elder's whining about how morality has eroded over time. I call this phenomenon "generation superiority syndrome" (GSS). 

Under the GSS, the current generation thinks exactly the opposite of what reality is. They assert their claims assertively taking full advantage of their seniority without providing any data or apple-to-apple comparison. Some of the common symptoms are: they completely discount the challenges faced by the next generation and only focus on their own difficulties; they also ignore improved moral standards of the current world and love to talk fondly about the good old days, no matter how regressive those days were; they also don't miss any opportunity to point out how they are not receiving the respect they deserve for their hard work and sacrifices. I know these things because I suffered from the same syndrome. It is true that there were hardships in my life, I immigrated to a completely unknown and strange country, had to chart my own path with my family, and faced many uncertainties. But it is also true that my kids also have to face their own challenges that may have been more difficult than what I faced. Glorifying our own challenges and diminishing our kids' challenges is a mean thing any parent can do, but many parents do this all the time without realizing the impact of this on their kids. Different generations face different difficulties and hardships. Many times, they are not comparable, hence difficult to judge which one is harder. Sometimes physical comforts are better, but psychological difficulties are harder, sometimes there is more money but there are more distractions. It is hard to find apples-to-apples comparisons, but people suffering from the GSS don't care about these things, they just like to harp about their greatness and sacrifices. 

If you are a parent or guardian, please check from time to time if you are suffering from the GSS. If you are, please take corrective measures before your kids realize that you are a jerk without any idea what kids are going through. Please acknowledge your kids' difficulties in the same way you want to get acknowledged your own. Be cognizant of the fact that every generation has pushed the boundaries on various fronts compared to the previous generations. Remember, just a few decades back women were not allowed to work or go to college, but now they can, at least in most countries. So, it is clear that our forefathers did not have superior morality standards compared to the current standards. Let's give credit where it's due and offer constructive criticism where it's needed. Most people who suffer from GSS don't even know about it, so don't be one of them. Good luck and happy parenting.

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Happy New Year

2022 has just passed. The last few years have been interesting as the world is dealing with the COVID pandemic and a war that has affected everyone's life to some extent. Many of us have faced some personal challenges and losses, but at the same time, there were some personal achievements and success stories. That's the nature of life, time moves on, joy and sorrow visit us simultaneously or one by one, but nothing stays permanent. Wishing each other a happy new year signifies our good intentions towards each other, we wish each other happiness for the entire year, and we express this wish with a smile even to strangers. I hope we also behave in accordance with this greeting. We try to bring as much happiness into each other's lives as we can. It's not that difficult. If we sincerely try to be kind, become better listeners, show empathy and compassion, and be supportive, the world will become a much better place than what it is. Let's mean what we say and try to make this year a happy new year. Wishing all my readers a happy new year.