Get rid of your mask

Do you feel pressure to fit into society?
Are you living your life to fulfill the expectations of others around you?
Do you feel obliged to fit into a stereotyped definition of a man or a woman?
Are you doing things that don't interest you at all only because they make you look successful and accomplished in the eyes of others?
If the answer to any of these questions is yes or maybe, then you are living with a mask to project what people around you want to see in you, not what you want. Actually, among all the conditioning that has happened to us since childhood and all the chaos around us, it is not easy to decide what we really want to do. We are guided and misguided so much since our childhood that it becomes extremely hard for many of us to decide what we really want to do in our personal and professional lives. We are told to chase our dreams, but many times situations don't allow us to do that and for many of us it's not easy to decide which dream to chase as we have too many of them, or worse, some of us don't have a dream that we want to chase.

In this confused or conditioned state of mind, knowingly or unknowingly we all start wearing a mask. We don't even realize that we are wearing a mask. We start doing the stuff that others tell us is good for us. We start dreaming about a life that others say is good and happy and choose a career that others say is safe and rewarding. We want to be successful in the eyes of our parents, other relatives, and society. Nowadays, to make sure that everyone knows about our success story we start doing these things and post about them on social media so that people think that we are successful and happy. That mask forces us to choose only certain types of careers because those are only guaranteed to make us rich and happy. We hate our job but still do it as we need those big bucks which we believe will bring a lot of happiness. But the problem is, this mask makes us forget what we really want, in which things our happiness really lies, and what we would like to choose as a profession if we don't have burdens of expectations from others. That mask eventually becomes our face and we get stuck with it, rather we start believing that it's our real face.

I am not saying that getting advice from others is bad or we should not follow anyone's guidance. Many of us need some help to navigate the path of our lives and we should seek such help. But in the end, the choice should be ours, it should not be forced on us. To make such a choice and to live such independent life we need to get rid of our mask first. We need to break free from inhibitions that stop us from exploring new paths and testing our capabilities. Any career is not a bad choice if you are really good at it, but please remember that only being passionate is not good enough, one needs to acquire the required skills and expertise also to be successful in any field. If you are happy while working hard to acquire such skills and expertise this journey becomes more rewarding and fulfilling. So, get rid of your mask, look at the world with a fresh outlook, and see what difference it makes. Live life on your terms, this doesn't mean being irrational, erratic, and without any bounds, it means being rational, sensible, and practical. 

Michelangelo said, "I saw the angel in the marble and I chiseled until I set it free." We should not wait for someone else to see that angel in us, we need to find that hidden angel that resides inside all of us and make all the efforts to set it free. Getting rid of the mask that we wear to make people around us happy is one of those important steps in that direction. 

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

The dangers of stereotyping the definition of fun and enjoyment

"Why don't you go on a vacation and have some fun, what's the point in working so much and earning those big bucks if you don't want to have some fun?" A coworker asked one of my friends. My friend could not come up with any explanation as he didn't have any. He knew that his coworker wouldn't believe if he said that he loved his work so much that he didn't need any other enjoyment to really enjoy his life. For him his work was fun and that's all he needed to feel content and happy. However, for most of us, this is not true and I feel stereotyping the definition of fun and enjoyment is the main reason behind this.

There are indeed some people around us who love their work more than anything else and they don't feel the need to do anything else. But many of us can't even imagine that work or studying can be so much fun. The problem is we have stereotyped the definition of fun and enjoyment. We are told that ONLY fun is going on vacation, partying in pubs, having drinks with friends, spending time with friends and family, or watching movies, almost anything but not our work. Many or all of these activities indeed are entertaining and many people enjoy engaging in these activities, but it is not necessary that everyone needs to do them to have fun. I don't understand why people find it hard to digest that someone can have fun while doing their job or while studying? Why study or job is stereotyped as boring and hard, why can't they be super fun and entertaining like other so-called entertaining activities? The main reason behind this stereotyping is that most people don't do a job of their choice or study in the area they really love. They stay in their job even though they don't enjoy a bit of that work and they study subjects in which they have zero interest. Most people do these things (job and study) just because someone told them that this is what everyone does and this is the only way to be successful in this world. They were made to believe that this is how the world works. The effect is, that most people feel that they are stuck with this so-called routine life and try to seek refuge in enjoyment methods which are again prescribed to them by their surroundings to make up for their boring life.

Our society has stereotyped definitions of work, fun, and enjoyment. Why does work need to be always boring? Why weekend culture is so prevalent as if people don't live their lives during the weekdays? Why people who don't go to parties, go on vacation, drink, or watch movies but focus on their work and studies are perceived as boring and someone who is not having any fun? The danger behind such stereotyping is that many people start believing in such categorization and they feel increasingly unsatisfied with their lives. They feel that their life is boring due to their job and students feel they are trapped in studying and they need to do something different to have fun and enjoyment in their lives. The reason for this misunderstanding is simple, we fail to understand that someone can also have fun while working on their job, studying for their degree, or doing research because we are not taught that these things can be fun. Yes, one needs to have a healthy atmosphere at a workplace to enjoy it, one needs to love the subject and have to have great teachers to enjoy their studies, but these things are not hard to find in today's world. There are a variety of industries where one can choose to work as per their liking. The number of universities and courses they offer is vast and one can choose any subject of their liking to study (online or on campus). We can have fun while working if we find our work really exciting and find some purpose behind doing it. If we look forward to the knowledge and wisdom we could get by studying the subject which we like studies will not be boring. One needs a break from everything, there is nothing wrong with taking breaks, not because that particular thing is boring or torturous, but to bring a variety in life and this could be a good reason to do different activities.

Strenuous physical or mental efforts are part of work and study, these things can be very demanding physically and mentally, and some people might say that this is the part that makes these things less interesting and boring. But, gym or sports also demand physical and mental stamina, but many enjoy going to the gym or playing some sport. They don't mind the physical and mental rigor that sports and gym demand. Similarly, if we can have the same attitude towards our work and studies these things can also give us the same enjoyment. Please try this approach and then you will realize that there is no need to live life only during weekends, but weekdays can also be equally rewarding and exciting. Our work consumes a major part of our active lives and we invest the best part of our youth in studying, so it is better if we also enjoy these things. Let's fill our lives with unlimited fun and excitement.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.