Friday, July 10, 2015

Let go of the need to be right.

We all like to be right all the time, in every situation, in every discussion and during every argument basically all of us assume that we are right while pursuing any argument and I don't think there is anything wrong in it. Most of us feel that it is not only important for our reputation but it is our duty to be right, most of us hate when someone proves us wrong. Some of us are so convinced with our beliefs and thoughts that we feel that whatever we say is always right and people opposing us are wrong or incapable of accepting the truth, this belief is specially very predominant and strong among fanatics. It is all so good and nice if everything goes according to our expectations, we feel happy if we manage to win arguments, score points over our opponents during discussions and debates. This feeling of being right drives us to participate in many debates and discussions, while going through all this we get into mindset of being right all the time. We expect ourselves to be on right side all the time or many of us take the easier route we start believing that whatever side we support is the right side. This makes us to defend our religion, political party, ideology, political or religious leader no matter what they do or what they say. This need to be right all the time has created rigid walls between many groups and factions who are not willing to find any common ground to solve many problems which we are facing today. I think that no single ideology, religion, political party or any other discipline has answer to all the questions and problems which we face today, we need to take best from each field and try our best to solve the issues in front of us. But the need to be right which in turn inculcates the feeling of being right all the time is one of the major hurdles in bringing all interested parties on board to create some amicable solution for many solvable problems.

As a person who has both political and social views I participate in variety of discussions, some of them very fruitful and rewarding where I learn some new things and some of them totally waste of time leading into useless arguments. I try to enjoy both type of discussions and participate in them as long as I get some fun or knowledge out of them. I always say that I like when people prove me wrong specially when they do it by producing reliable and verifiable evidences against the points which I am arguing for. I like it because not because I love being proven wrong all the time but because when it happens I learn something new, I learn something which I ignored or failed to notice, it teaches me something. It will be dishonest and utter lie if I say that I don't feel sad or disappointed when this happens but at the end I feel good to learn something new, after all I don't know everything and I don't have answer for all question. Because of this desire of learning something new I don't feel need to be right all the time, rather I am always in search for evidences either in favor or against the point which I am arguing for. My aim of participating in any discussion or watching any debate is to know more about various facts associated with that particular topic. As humans we all are bound to make some mistakes, we all are bound to mess up or say something which is not right. The best way is not to deny it or sulk over it if someone proves us wrong but to look at the evidence and accept the mistake, learn from it and move on.

I have to be prepared to accept that I might be wrong or I may not have information about some very important piece of evidence to support my argument or there can be two or even more than two right answers for same question. This is the one of the basic understanding on should have while participating in any discussion. Thinking that we are always right puts lot of pressure on us as well as makes us lose our ability to learn any new things from our opponents. Once we let go the desire to be right or stop thinking that we are always right then we become more tolerant to new ideas and views. Once we get rid of this desire to be always right we become more receptive and open to alternate views. We start recognizing and noticing many things which we might ignore if we look at them with bias. It is very difficult to get rid of our bias but at least we should be aware of it. We assume many things are wrong just because they don't match with our thinking. Broaden your horizons and let go the need to be right. Don't be afraid to commit mistakes but also don't forget to learn a lesson from them.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright : Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

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