Friday, July 10, 2015

Let go of the need to be right

We all like to be right all the time, in every situation, in every discussion, and during every argument. We all assume that we are right while pursuing any argument, and I don't think there is anything wrong with it. Most of us feel that it is not only important for our reputation, but it is our duty to be right, and most of us hate when someone proves us wrong. Some of us are so convinced by our beliefs and thoughts that we feel that whatever we say is always right and people opposing us are always wrong, this belief is especially very predominant and strong among fanatics. It is all so good and nice if everything goes according to our expectations, we feel happy if we manage to win arguments, and score points over our opponents during discussions and debates. This feeling of being right drives us to participate in many debates and discussions passionately. We expect ourselves to be on the right side all the time and many of us take the easier route we start believing that whatever side we support is the right side. This makes us defend our religion, political party, ideology, and political or religious leader, no matter what they do or what they say, we use all our talent and intellect to defend them. This need to be right all the time has created rigid walls within our society. People are not willing to find any common ground to solve many important problems that we are facing today. People are more interested in proving themselves right and others wrong rather than finding solutions. I think that no single ideology, religion, political party, or any other discipline has the answer to all the questions and problems that we face today, we need to take the best from each field and try our best collectively to solve the issues in front of us. But the need to be right all the time is one of the major hurdles in bringing all interested parties on board to create some amicable solution for many solvable problems.

As a person who has both political and social views, I participate in a variety of discussions, some of them very fruitful and rewarding where I learn some new things, and some of them total waste of time leading to useless arguments. I try to enjoy both types of discussions and participate in them as long as I have some fun and get some knowledge. I always say that I like it when people prove me wrong, especially when they do it by producing reliable and verifiable evidence against the points which I am arguing for. I like it not because I love being proven wrong, but because when it happens, I learn something new, I learn something that I ignored or failed to notice, it teaches me something, and allows me to grow and improve my knowledge. I would be lying if I said that I don't feel bad or disappointed when this happens, but in the end, I feel good to learn something new, after all, I don't know everything and I don't have answers to all the questions. Because of my desire to learn something new, I don't feel the need to be right all the time, rather I am always looking for updated data to update my views and opinions. My aim in participating in any discussion or watching any debate is to know more about various facts associated with that topic. As humans we all are bound to make some mistakes, we all are bound to mess up or say something which is not right. The best way is not to deny it or sulk over it if someone proves us wrong, but to look at the evidence and accept the mistake, learn from it, and move on.

I have to be prepared to accept that I might be wrong. This is one of the basic understandings one should have while participating in any discussion. Thinking that we are always right puts a lot of pressure on us as well as makes us lose our ability to learn any new things from our opponents. Once we let go of the desire to be right or stop thinking that we are always right, then we become more tolerant of new ideas and views. Once we get rid of this desire to be always right, we become more receptive and open to alternate views. It is very difficult to get rid of our bias of being right all the time, but at least we should try. Please broaden your horizons and let go of the need to be right. Don't be afraid to commit mistakes or accept that you were wrong, but also don't forget to learn a lesson from them and move on.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

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