This question came up in my mind during one of my discussions with my daughter. We were discussing the merits and
demerits of high school kids dating each other. Teenage dating, especially in high schools is a part of the modern-day culture in many developed countries, even in developing countries like India it is becoming very common. In countries like the US, dating starts during high school or middle school, and in countries like India, it used to start during college. The main reason for this time difference is that in India high schools still have a very restricted environment with a requirement of uniforms, a lot of rules and regulations about appearance and many of them are not even co-ed schools whereas in the US there are relatively unrestricted and free environment in schools. Teenage is a very important phase of any individual's life, many physical and psychological changes take place in us. We get transformed physically and well as mentally during these years. This can be called the transition phase of our transformation from child to adult. Many of us become aware of our own sexuality, this is also the time when we start getting attracted to other people sexually. I guess dating is a result of all these changes and in many Western countries, it is a socially accepted phenomenon. Most TV shows or movies propagate this culture, and because of all this aggressive marketing dating has become a necessary activity during high school days for most kids. There is tremendous peer pressure on kids to fit into this culture, and many kids desperately seek a partner as their boyfriend or girlfriend. Relationships are formed and destroyed, and this eventually leads to things like breakups and frustrations associated with it. Kids have to deal with all these things along with their studies, homework, college preparations, and expectations of their parents. Some of them manage these things very well, some just can't handle this all and suffer from depression, anxiety, panic, and many other problems. This has also created a very serious problem of teenage pregnancies. This issue of underage (less than 18 years) girls becoming pregnant and eventually teenage moms is a very important issue. This is important for the future of those newborn infants as well as their underage parents. School kids becoming parents has to be a serious matter for any society. How can a kid bear the complete responsibility of another kid? Many people might say that teenage pregnancy and dating are totally separate issues but according to me they are very closely related.
Fortunately, child marriage is illegal in most parts of the world today, it used to be a very common thing not very long ago. But today many countries have strong laws against child marriage and it has reduced significantly. In this case, kids are coerced to enter into a romantic relationship without even knowing what that relationship actually means. This coercion is not overt, but subtle through movies and other social channels. In the case of child marriage, everything was done under the family's guidance as kids used to be very young and there was no age limit to get married. This was a socially accepted phenomenon in many societies (India was one of them), but we all agree that it was a terrible practice. This ridiculous practice stopped because it created many social problems like the issue of child widows. These young girls used to become widows before even knowing that they were married and then they were forced to live very restricted lives for no fault of theirs. Many old men used to marry girls much younger than them by misusing this system, this all resulted in social uproar against this system, and slowly it was abolished socially and legally.
Friendship is a very beautiful thing and an essential part of our lives. Many of our serious and long-lasting friendships are formed during school and college days. But it seems someone felt that for high school kids, just friendship is not enough they also need to have more serious relationships, and teenage dating was invented. During the teenage years there are a lot of hormonal and physical changes in the human body, and physical attraction to others normally starts at that age. Therefore, no wonder that social acceptance of unmonitored teenage dating was an instant hit among teenagers. There are merits and demerits associated with this approach, especially when there is a possibility of sexual encounters in these types of relationships. As kids, many times they don't understand the consequences of their acts, sexual intercourse is a physical act but it can have many biological, social, and emotional consequences. Emotional and social consequences might differ from person to person but biological consequences are the same for all. Biology doesn't care whether you are a teenager or an adult, whether it is consensual sex or rape, any careless or unprotected sexual act can result in a pregnancy that can ultimately result in parenthood, and being a parent is a huge personal and social responsibility. The teenage pregnancy issue is a byproduct of this uncontrolled dating culture which starts too early in kids' lives, so early that many of them don't even know what a relationship means and what are the consequences of some of their actions. Proper sex education and spreading awareness about these issues is the only way to handle this problem of teenage parenthood. There needs to be a sense among today's youth about what is proper and what is improper sexual behavior. School years are a very important part of anyone's life, this is the time to learn new things, get ready to face new challenges of the future, and form long-lasting friendships, school is not a place to look for a life partner or indulge in unsafe sexual acts.
The culture of child marriage was abolished because many people started misusing it, this rampant misuse made some people protest against it, and slowly that protest created a big social movement that abolished that practice from many societies. I always feel sorry for kids who are busy thinking about their partner's likes and dislikes, how to get over breakups, or whether someone is sexually attracted to them or not. They all do these things at the age when they should be enjoying their school life without thinking about such complicated things. We all get ample time in our lives starting from our college days to worry about these things but school days are not the time to worry about these things. School life has its own style of romance but depression, breakups, and anxiety are not supposed to be part of that romance. I know that teenage parenthood and child marriage are totally different subjects but somehow I see some parallels in both of them, maybe I am wrong that is why I would like to know what others feel about this issue.
Fortunately, child marriage is illegal in most parts of the world today, it used to be a very common thing not very long ago. But today many countries have strong laws against child marriage and it has reduced significantly. In this case, kids are coerced to enter into a romantic relationship without even knowing what that relationship actually means. This coercion is not overt, but subtle through movies and other social channels. In the case of child marriage, everything was done under the family's guidance as kids used to be very young and there was no age limit to get married. This was a socially accepted phenomenon in many societies (India was one of them), but we all agree that it was a terrible practice. This ridiculous practice stopped because it created many social problems like the issue of child widows. These young girls used to become widows before even knowing that they were married and then they were forced to live very restricted lives for no fault of theirs. Many old men used to marry girls much younger than them by misusing this system, this all resulted in social uproar against this system, and slowly it was abolished socially and legally.
Friendship is a very beautiful thing and an essential part of our lives. Many of our serious and long-lasting friendships are formed during school and college days. But it seems someone felt that for high school kids, just friendship is not enough they also need to have more serious relationships, and teenage dating was invented. During the teenage years there are a lot of hormonal and physical changes in the human body, and physical attraction to others normally starts at that age. Therefore, no wonder that social acceptance of unmonitored teenage dating was an instant hit among teenagers. There are merits and demerits associated with this approach, especially when there is a possibility of sexual encounters in these types of relationships. As kids, many times they don't understand the consequences of their acts, sexual intercourse is a physical act but it can have many biological, social, and emotional consequences. Emotional and social consequences might differ from person to person but biological consequences are the same for all. Biology doesn't care whether you are a teenager or an adult, whether it is consensual sex or rape, any careless or unprotected sexual act can result in a pregnancy that can ultimately result in parenthood, and being a parent is a huge personal and social responsibility. The teenage pregnancy issue is a byproduct of this uncontrolled dating culture which starts too early in kids' lives, so early that many of them don't even know what a relationship means and what are the consequences of some of their actions. Proper sex education and spreading awareness about these issues is the only way to handle this problem of teenage parenthood. There needs to be a sense among today's youth about what is proper and what is improper sexual behavior. School years are a very important part of anyone's life, this is the time to learn new things, get ready to face new challenges of the future, and form long-lasting friendships, school is not a place to look for a life partner or indulge in unsafe sexual acts.
The culture of child marriage was abolished because many people started misusing it, this rampant misuse made some people protest against it, and slowly that protest created a big social movement that abolished that practice from many societies. I always feel sorry for kids who are busy thinking about their partner's likes and dislikes, how to get over breakups, or whether someone is sexually attracted to them or not. They all do these things at the age when they should be enjoying their school life without thinking about such complicated things. We all get ample time in our lives starting from our college days to worry about these things but school days are not the time to worry about these things. School life has its own style of romance but depression, breakups, and anxiety are not supposed to be part of that romance. I know that teenage parenthood and child marriage are totally different subjects but somehow I see some parallels in both of them, maybe I am wrong that is why I would like to know what others feel about this issue.
Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.
[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]
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